Moon River

Hey. Tired and worn out. I must admit, this weekend wasnt as bad as the past few. At least I had time to R&R. Got my hw done on friday. Which reminds me, I need to finish my tamil compre. Shid.

I need to focus and concentrate. And i am glad that I have started off well. But one thing's for sure. I am NOT going to burn myself out this time.

I am not going to relax, but I am not going to push myself too much. That was what happened last year. Pushed myself too much. This time around, I'm going to start preparing earlier. So i wont be as rushed. And I am going to sleep properly, instead of how i sleep now. 4-5 hours is NOT good. For anyone.

Let me go sleep now, listening to moon river.

Moon River, off to see the world.

Stones from a Pilot

Hey. After watching Rockstar today, I got super pissed of with Dilana. I had a lot of respect for her, thinking that she was a great rockstar and stuff. But i guess she dug her own grave. Insulting your fellow peers like that on national TV? Go and screw yourself. That is the most disgusting thing ever.

And I love what Lukas said: "You can ask her to mind her own business." Man, the way he said it was damn cool. I hope she gets kicked out next.

Today, my third lang orals started. I think it was ok. The teacher seemed satisfied with the job I had done. I would like to thank Ms Toh as well, and I think the other third langgers would agree as well. I guess she (and mr ang, i suppose) went out of their way to help us get those 4 hours off before the exam itself, and it has been of great help. Thanks!

Hmmm. v12 has 6 pple with full marks. The more I recall my math paper, the more depressed and annoyed I get. But never mind, this is not the end. Must remain clear and focused. Must not be sad. Must prepare for organic chem tomorrow. Must not screw that up too.

And as I came back home from third lang today, I realised that next week would be one of my last few days that I actually go there, as in to MOELC. I don't intend on taking german in JC, so I guess that this is my last year. I mean, for the past 4 years, only MOELC has been somewhat the only constant. I changed from VS to VJ. So much of change in school life, in friends and so on. BUt MOELC, i guess, was just there. It remained there when everything else was changing. I really don't know how to express myself here.

And to think that i most likely wont be going back there. And it happens so that they just started renovating the place. How depressing. The final constant, being changed as well.

Haiz.

Must go read up on UV catastrophe and Wien's Law now.

And I never expected myself to think of MOELC in such a way.

Try, Cry, Why Try?

Hey. I am feeling really sore now. Over maths. I really thought I could do well. Well, I guess i disappointed myself.

I just need to forget it and move on. Move along. Now must focus on organic chem, and I aim to do really well in it. You know smth? I aim to do well in everything I think I can do well in. But in the end, it all screws up. Just like that.

Try, cry, why try?

This is a verse from the song Losing my Religion by REM and recently sung by Ryan Star on Rockstar: Supernova. I think its a really great song (I think desmond would concur) and it really represents me at the time being. You have to check out the lyrics of this song. Really great.

What I need to do know, is to stop whining and brooding over the past. Forget about by numerous failures and stay with a clear focussed mind. Be confident of my capabilities but at the same time, not be too over confident (which is a HUGE problem). And of course, plan and work hard. I guess I need to start earlier this time around. And I am going to force myself to.

And of course. Sleep. Have ample sleep, to ensure that I can have all of the above, especially a clear, focussed mind. I know I can do it. You know my group. Before each test, we usually tell each other that we'll do really well for this test or that test. Its usually sarcastic. Uncannily, the 5 of us usually do well when we motivate each other like this. Maybe its just some random correlation between 2 events. This just suddenly came to my mind.

Anyway, I know I can do it.

Try, cry, why try?

At least I tried.

Why?

Hey. There's just so much I want to do, but so little time. So many clashes. So many priorities. Having to forgo one for the other. I just want to do everything. But sometimes, you just can't.

Thanks to all the taggers! cleav_, dessy, ss, shreya, ra, WC, xtine, leon and marj!

Btw, sleep is good. Don't ever try to stay awake in the night unless its really important. Sleep is very important for everybody. I think sleep in underrated. Now, back to the books.

Sorry guys, really didn't mean to pull out last minute.

Yeah you.

Hey. Today was another tiring day. Bah. Physics in the morning (where we got back our test paper)and after that was PE. Played floorball with hockey sticks which were not made of wood but rubber and plastic. I think i may have pushed myself too much in the game. But needless to say, it was fun.

After that SS came and went by really quickly. I doubt that my group paid any attention whatsoever. We just got distracted so easily and started talking about weird stuff. Lol. But it was fun.

After that was biology. Had our bio test. I suppose it wasn't too bad. Okay lah. I'm kidding.It was quite bad lah. After that, Ms Farahdilah discussed about monohybrid crosses in class and about how we should use a ... PUnett square. Haha. Durin EA, there was this chinese talk during which I got to do my german hw. It was quite fun.

German was quite fun.

And I hate saying the wrong things. Wrong things. The regret. The disappointment.

I shouldn't talk unless need be from now on. And I also want to learn how to play dota seeing that so many pple play it.

I Bleed Just to Know I'm Alive

Hey. I guess i'll reply ot all my tags now.

xtine: yeahyeah, busted are great. too bad they got busted in the end. hurhur. And thanks for the new set of songs!

ra: einstein is... interesting. in fact, he did complicate things too. not only in physics, but in his life as well. He had 2 wives, a mistress and regularly visited brothels. I think.

Nick: Haha, I kinda figured. That's why i'm practising now.

dessy: Tall pple have a tendency of not jumping very high, or at least me. I guess I don't have the need to. I hope that explains my case.

W.C: Yo wilbur!

pearlyn: lol, what is making you feel like that? haha...

Life is okay I suppose. Today morning reached school at like 738 i think. Cool. After that civics. It kinda diverted from patch adams into.. something else. I can't quite remember now. Erm... about whether we regret coming into the VIP or not.

Well, imho, I really feel that I made the right choice coming here. In comparison to VS, I think that this is definitely, by far, the much better choice. Its not that VS is a bad institution or anything. It's just that i never really liked most of friends there. No offence Aaron, haha. Just that most of the other people I met there weren't particularly nice to be with. And here, I guess the friends I have made are much better. There are still some idiots here, but I guess they are less of a pain in the ass.

After that was break then mother tongue. Didn't do much as those who hadn't presented, presented their work. After that was LA! Haha... ><...

Got back our LA test paper. I am proud to say that i PASSED this test. yeah. Finally. Lol. I didn't get so high like darren who got 51.5 (who also got 31/30 for chem!)! Haha. That guy is really damn smart. I have officially passed 50% of all LA tests over the past 2 years. Haha. Since Mrs Jay didn't come, got slack a bit. After that was physics. Continued on magnetism, and got to learn that the physics test was actually going to be converted into an assignment.

Then stayed in school till 6 for Family 3. Going to have to stay up quite long today. Shall drink coke to sustain me through the night. I can't live on 5 hours of sleep. I need more sleep.

Like a Hurt Lost and Blinded Fool

Hey. It's been a long time I guess. So, today wasn't that bad. I suppose I was motivated by the fact that there was going to be a week of holiday. Morning was civics and ms toh also ate into our break. I think the clips from Patch Adams that we are seeing right now are quite relevant to me. Like why we study and stuff like that. Really makes me think about what I want to do.

Then tamil. I didnt know we were going to present today. I doubt anyone knew. Jus anyhow whack lah. He didnt have anything to say about my presentation which means that its quite bad. I am quite scared. I think i might just get less than 70 this time around, which is unthinkable. die. die.

Then there was LA. Quite interesting lah. Nationalism. Damn weird.

Then physics was super funny. Especially the birds flying everywhere and banging into the glass windows. Imagine humans in such a condition where we are exposed to solar wind. And we need to use a compass. Just imaging people using a compass walking around aimlessly banging into glass windows is super funny. Really. And I wonder how Zheng He has a beard despite being castrated. SO weird. On the other hand, I am quite happy that we have started on magnetism. Now I will finally be able to understand all the difficult electromagnetic stuff in all those books.

After physics, i got cheated. I got cheated into staying for so long for some stupid survey, when it got cancelled in the end. Argh. Anyway, went to play bball instead, and i was some what okay lah. Long story short, I was bad. I just don't feel that same flow when i bball like when I play floorball or soccer. I mean, i am comfortable playing soccer, but in bball, I am always so agitated. I can't explain this thing. Yeah.

After that, got back home. Watched some TV. Ate dinner and settled my homework to finish it over the next few days. Must work hard over the holidays, cos i doubt i would ever get so much of free time ever again. Ever. And 2 years of work! I think i should stop talking about it and actually start doing something, like studying, or mugging more like.

I have been reading up on the theory of relativity recently in this book. Its just so interestingly unique, I am amazed that Einstein could even think up of it. He's indeed a true genius. Man, seriously. Some pro shid. I need to finish reading the book so that I can some what understand what relativity is. Haha. And only after reading it, I realised how much of an idol Euclid was to Einstein.

Geometry is everything, which is why i think many people, myself included, actually enjoy doing this latest topic in math. I think many people would consider it to be the most enjoyable form of math and after reading mroe on geometry in relation to relativity, i have realised how important it was in forming so many different theories. I want to find someone to discuss relativity with!

I have taken a new interest in Geometry and Euclid. Hah. And relativity as well.

I guess I just bored the livin shid out of everyone by just talking about what i was talking about. Sorry pple. Just came out suddenly. Haha.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

When Everything's Meant to be Broken

Hey. I guess I am quite jealous that I don't have a clear sense of direction like some people. I mean, I suck at the Arts. I suck at the Sciences, leaving me with very few options. I mean, I have a few ideas here and there. But... I dunno. People ask me to do what makes me happy. They ask me if I would be happy if I were an engineer or a doctor, but in all honesty, I would be really happy if I were a footballer. Not one of those rich bastards(though I don't mind) mind you. Playing in one of the bottom leagues in Sweden or Switzerland or something like that. But then again, I suck so bad at soccer, I doubt I would go so far.

After going to SV, I realised that I wanted to live in the Bay Area when I start to work. But then again, is that the best option? Should I stay in Singapore or go overseas? Should I stay to finish my NS or just forget about it and never return to Singapore? Really, this Helmsman Week has raised more doubts than cleared them. Maybe that was the aim of this week?

So now I sit back, and begin to plan out my life, not knowing what I want at all.