I Cry More, More, More!

Hey. Since the exams are over, I guess I should talk about them. To be frank, I was super scared for this years exams, especially after what happened last year. I was confident last year, that I would do well, but everything came crashing down from within. Not what I expected, not what I wanted. This year, it was important that the same thing didn't happen. So, I guess I had to change the way I studied - smarter and effective ways. Ok, not really smart or effective to be true. In fact, I was really lucky. Topics that I didnt really study, didn't come out for the exams. For instance, I didn't study genetics for bio at all. Thank goodness there were no major questions from it for paper one. I was JUST able to know how to do the Punnett Cross just before the Paper 2 started. But then again, I think i screwed up question 3. So. yeah. I rather not think about it.

I was thinking about the past, after people reminded me that the PSLE just ended yesterday. When we ended our PSLE, they were talking about how our batch would be one of the first few to experience the new JC system. Then, it seemed so far away. But suddenly, we may have to choose what we want to do next year, next week. Its just that everything is changing and I don't think I want it to change. Inertia. That's it. I am resisting change. But i guess I have to overcome it one way or another.

Well, I was reading the blogs of my fellow sec 4 victorians back at VS, who have just completed their prelims. Some of them are coming. Well, I have mixed feelings from hearing such news. There is this paradox. How can you hate a place that you love so much? That was my thoughts of VS. Seeing my fellow batchmates, I feel, especially my ex-classmates, would stir those feelings again.

I read this guy's blog. He was motivating his fellow classmates: We stayed on to make a difference.

This line really impacted me. I mean, i began thinking, what would have happened if I stayed? What difference have I made by coming here? Have I become a better person by coming here?

Honestly, it's impossible for me to know the answer such questions. What I do know is that, it was my choice to leave VS and I guess that nothing can be done about it now. I have no regrets by coming here, so in my opinion, everything is okay. What I shouldn't forget is that VS formed an integral role at a very important phase in my life, and i can't deny that.

Now that the exams are over, i guess I have the time to go back to VS. Not to see my friends or teachers or anything. Just to walk along the corridors. Go to my class. Walk to the 7th Floor and sit on the staircase. Visit the place where my friends and myseld used to play soccer to hide from the prefects. Come to think of it, I have a very strong sense of attachment to these places, even if I don't have such a similar attachment to the people there. Location, locale, sense of place (Social Studies, haha.) all these were there at VS.

I guess I want to do these things before I forget it.

I never want to ever forget these, places and what they mean to me.

Bah.